“Stand up for your rights but sit down to pee.”

I saw a sign like this over a toilet in the home of a female acquaintance in Germany. It was hilarious because there was a lot of truth in this little sign. Women get tired of going to the bathroom and having to sit on a wet seat. But guess what? They’re not the only ones. I hate using a public toilet because I know how bad men aim! And I rarely use anything other urinals, because these misfiring fools also rarely bend over to lift the damn seat! I’m not interested in getting an ass-full of another guy’s piss, either!

But it’s not only the toilet seats. If anyone has ever seen me using a urinal (and the question would be “Why?”), I stand with my legs wide apart in order to not linger in another man’s filth!

During the 1980’s, I served in the USAF in Germany. I lived in a house in a small town near the base. I had quite a few parties and get-togethers. Many of my comrades were rated marksman with a weapon and they still couldn’t hit the target! WTF??!! Many times, I’d call them out.

“Guys, if you can hit a target from hundreds of meters away, use those mad skills and hit the fucking bowl!”

So guys, if you cannot make it in the toilet bowl, maybe you should sit this one out. You think it’s unmanly to sit down while you pee? Well, how “manly” is it to spritz all over someone’s bathroom.

For their sake, let’s hope the two boys featured in this commercial will have polished their skills by the time they’re married.